Version-Of-The-Truth

It isn’t often that there is a time when rumours aren’t being spread around me. I always seem to be a good target because of my outgoing nature while still being a mysterious person. I’ll be friends with you, but you’ll know nothing about me. I insist that you will have fun guessing, trust me on this one.

This week’s rumour is from an old grade eight friend. A lot of people have invented things against me lately, but that’s the way humans work. She, being no exception, decided that I am cheating on my boyfriend, whom I’ll call Kevin. It’s the typical rumour that people spread, so she gets no gold stars for creativity. She was vague enough to her sister (who eventually passed it on to my boyfriend’s friend, and to Kevin himself,) that this so-called rumour does not even state the forged facts about whom I am cheating with.

I am absolutely in love with the absurdity of Jess’s definition of cheating. Something you ought to know is that I am dubbed ‘The Hug Whore.’ Being the most affectionate person that I know, there is no drought of love and embrace in my circle of friends. On an average day, over six dozen hugs are offered and accepted with open arms, pun highly intended.

This is roughly quoted, but according to her, I was ‘hanging off of some other guy,’ and that’s considered cheating. It’s understandable that she would think that this is provocative, as she’s had to the total of one boyfriend before, but I still thought higher of her intelligence until now.

So, here’s how it went:

Jess, as it is her ex-boyfriend I give hugs to, gets jealous. She stands there with her face a pale green from envy, and decided to do something about it. Being as ill creative as she is, she concocts the plan that she will get it to Kevin that I’m cheating on him. Tucking her thin dirty-blonde hair behind her ears, her face of dirty porcelain cracks into a smile.

“Karmen will regret the day that she ever decided to become friends with my ex-boyfriend!”

Her eyes gleam with red as the demon, which is lounging inside her and drinking a pint of ale, burps, emitting red flames from his slobber-covered mouth. She arrives home after school with the idea of tearing me from the love of my life consuming her.

“Jenna!” She calls. “Jenna, get over here!” Jenna, her sister, comes around the corner with her backpack still attached to her back.

“What do you want? I’m busy!” Jenna replies to her demon-possessed sister.

“Jenna, I need you to get a message to one of Kevin’s good friends. Karmen is cheating on him, and he needs to be told. Make sure he dumps her.”

“But that’s mean! Is he really?” Jenna complains, showing a hint of moral decency.

“Does it matter? Anyways, Jenna, you’d be doing him and the rest of humanity a favour. No one would want filth like her for a friend, let alone a girlfriend.”

Tricked by her evil sister, Jenna agrees. “Well, you’re older, so you must be smarter and correct about this situation. You’re such a good sister.”

Jenna set out at once to find one of Kevin’s friends. After exactly half an hour, she stumbles upon Sam.

“Sam! Can you do me and the rest of humanity a favour?” Jenna asks hurriedly. Sam, realizing the urgency, inquires what this critical matter might be. Jenna explains to Sam exactly what her sister told her.

Sam is smart, and isn’t fooled by Jess’s devilish tricks. “No, Jenna, don’t you see? You’ve been tricked. Karmen is my adopted sister and she’d never do that to him or anyone.”

Jenna wasn’t listening, having left at the ‘no’ to go find someone else. Finding no one hours later, she returned home. Jess was waiting by the door.

“Well,” she scrutinized, “did you find a friend of Kevin’s and ultimately ruin Karmen’s life and any chances to maim this world of ours?”

Jenna shook her head, ashamed of herself for not being as perfect as her sister. Jess, instantly enraged, throws her sister into their secret dungeon to be locked there until morning, when she could finish the task at hand.

All the while, Karmen sat in her bed, praying in the Lord’s holy name about something troubling her. Jess hadn’t seemed like herself lately, and she was worried, as she loved Jess very much. Karmen’s long red and brown hair fell in her face as she prayed, hiding her unique features that made her who she was.

Upon the rise of the sun, Jess finished shovelling the half-eaten human corpses that reminded her who she was and why she was here, and released Jenna from the filthy prison she called home and told her not to return until the assignment was completed.

It took Jenna most of the day, and then she found Devon. Using the same mind games that Jess had used the previous day, Jess had Devon convinced. Devon set off to notify Kevin of Karmen’s supposed wrongdoings, and Jenna returned home exhausted, but pleased at having filled Jess’s wishes.

Devon cautiously spoke to Kevin about Karmen’s betrayal, but Kevin wouldn’t believe a word of it. He was smart that way, and asked Devon of the source of the information. All too sure that she would get in trouble from the demon-possessed one for letting her resources known, she kept quiet. Kevin, with his emo-like charm, soon got it out of her, and he spoke to Karmen about the betrayal.

Karmen cautiously got Matthias, her pet chicken, to perform an exorcism, and all was good again in the life of Karmen and Matthias.

Piczo